The day before mother's day, I had to prepare my son for a change in our schedule. As I laid him down for bed, we discussed what mother's day is about. Explaining to him how mommy will be relaxing for most of the day, Chris seemed to be just fine with that. The next morning, I wake up and do my normal routine. Breakfast, pills, vitamins all laid out for Chris, however; dishes and laundry were looked at, but I decided to not clean them. As soon as my lil man awoke, he came out to the kitchen beaming from ear to ear. "I can't wait to try my new headphones at the library". It was at that moment, I knew mother's day was not understood by Chris last night.
"Remember, today is mom's day", I said in a questioning tone. "Today, is the day we honor, embrace, respect, and love mommy. It is also the day, where we do what mommy likes to do." After the several stomps, pouting, tantrums, asking why constantly, Chris finally asks, "so how long does mother's day last". Very enthusiastically I say, "till midnight, just like your birthday". Without blinking an eye, he says, "well, this sucks".
Later, he begins to ask more questions. One, in particular, had me thinking. He asked me if tomorrow was back to being 'kids day'. I suppose the question caught me off guard. I mean, obviously I do a lot for my children. Most of the time, they come first...especially him, but apparently I do so much, that he believes everyday is 'kids day'. In a round a bout way, this did make me slightly giddy. Chris was definitely an unwilling participant for "mother's day", even hated the fact I wanted to relax, however; for a child to think the next day begins their day, I must be doing something right.
Isn't that the paradox? We treat our children like princesses and princes and we expect to get the day off from them! The one day, we are celebrated for all we do, is the one day, our children truthfully cannot grasp that concept. Sure, they make cards or cute little artsy things we can never truthfully use, but they probably do so more of a "have to" attitude vs. "want to".
What was even more ironic to me, was even through my relaxation, I was still being mommy. There was no getting away from it. They still needed breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. If I didn't pick out their clothes, who knows what they would have kept on, if anything at all. As I am outside relaxing with my tea in one hand, and the other pushing buttons to find that "perfect radio station to fit my mood"; I still managed to dig out the pool, fill it up, and get the kids prepared to have fun. Meanwhile, my fiance is working and at approximately 4:45p.m., a light bulb went off in my brain. Almost like a hand gave my brain a nudge...then a hard slap across the face, "wake up...time to make dinner". After bringing myself to huddle the kids inside and begin a quick feast (you know the one where anything that can go in an oven for 15 minutes and straight to a plate), I began hearing things call out to me. I'd hear, clean me...wash me...hello, over here, a piece of dirt. At 5 pm, I was starting the laundry, washing dishes, and sweeping the floor.
Maybe, just maybe, one day on this day in particular, I might actually be able to celebrate the whole day. Maybe, I might truly be sitting out on a beach, instead of having my feet in the kid's sandbox. Maybe, I might have a long island iced tea in my hand and not just sweet tea without using sugar (how that is possible, I don't know). Maybe, just maybe, Chris will truly understand how much I truly do for him. Maybe, he already has, he just says it in a really bad way!! Regardless, I know he knows I love him and show him everyday. Otherwise, the phrase, "that sucks" wouldn't have come out of his mouth. He had gotten 364 days of me doing for him. This is why, on the 365th day, he didn't know how to handle it. Truth be told, I didn't know how not to be a mommy, either.
A mother of a special need child and advocate for all!