The moment you came into my life, I knew God had a plan
He knew I was to be your biggest fan
He saw your issues
Felt all your pain
Understood the strain your soul was to endure
But, He made sure I would be there to sustain
The tumultuous storm that would fill your brain
Thousands of child abductions, car accidents, rapes, murders, molesting, shootings, and riots happen each year. Over 1 million children are abducted specifically for child trafficking. Approximately 160K children miss school each year due to fear. Fear of being bullied. American schools harbor almost 2 million bullies and it's said the victim numbers are more, reaching a whopping 2.7 million children. Children under 14, the leading cause of death has been suicide. At one time, children ages 10-14, their suicide rate was down. It has now jumped up 50 percent in the last 3 decades. It is no wonder why our biggest want, as a parent, is to protect our children. To have a "special need child", the protection rate almost triples. Not only do we battle outside extremities we have battles in our immediate circle.
Since Chris was born, I have battled many people on his behalf. Friends have left my side and many arguments between my fiance and I have stemmed, because of Chris's behavior. The first time I ever went to battle with a "friend", was when Chris was almost 5 years old. We came over for a cookout the night before. Not only did I purchase the food with my own money, but cooked for several others as well. Bedtime came and I put all the children to sleep, including hers.
The next morning, I awoke to her oldest daughter panicked. Her sister was not awake and the bus was going to be here shortly. She said her mother would not wake up. Immediately, I rushed up the stairs, praying she was not dead. Upon seeing her breath, I knew she would wish she was dead. Apparently, the alcohol from the night before was seeping through her pores. I ushered the little girl out of the room and explained I would get her sister to school. To let the office know, she would be late.
So, my morning was spent: waking her sister up (no easy task), getting her fed/dressed for school, and driving for a half an hour. I had no clue where I was going. Never get directions from a seven year old. Finally, I found a jogger that set me to the right path. I went back to my "friends" place, to leave a note explaining the morning. Upon leaving, my car wouldn't start. Dead battery! Needless to say, morning came and went. It was now 12:30 p.m. As I started feeding my son the leftovers from last night, Ms. -Look - Who - Went - On - Binder was now awake. An hour in, my son motioned he was done with food. I took the plate away and threw the rest out.
Next thing I know, I'm bombarded with, "What? You aren't going to make him finish that? What the (bleep)?!" Without blinking an eye, my son starts to hand flap. He didn't know much aggression from me, therefore; my "friend's" aggressive outburst made my son uncomfortable. He said, "I quit". That was his way of saying, 'I'm done'. She then retorted with, "I don't give a shit if you quit, you just wasted food." Out of all the words to repeat, of course my son chose, "shit". He said it probably seven times. He was saying it loud and proud while clapping his hands. Great, a new word he thinks is fun to say.
Wouldn't you know it, my "friend" got mad at me. "See, you aren't doing anything. You let him do what he wants, when he wants, and now he is making fun of me." It was at that moment, I put her on blast. I mean, seriously, this wasn't the first time I took her child to school because she couldn't hold to a three - beer minimum. Not to mention, I bought the food. Why should she care? Add insult to injury, her lovely profanity was new to Chris. Now. I had to find a way to explain it's a bad word and don't say it anymore. Worst part was, I still needed a jump for my car!
There have been other times, not so volatile, in which other friends have made negative comments. It's usually out of fear or not understanding. The tried and true friends. The ones that understand who Chris is. Those are my friends who usually say, "I don't know how you do this." I also hear, "You are doing a great job, don't let anyone say anything different." Actually, I had someone who only met us twice say, "Your kids are great. I love Chris's hugs. I can tell you are a good mother."
I will say, though, when it comes to my fiance and I, it can be rough at times. We have argued about the time I spend with Chris. Not only does that eliminate time with my fiance, but our daughter as well. She is so patient and sweet. Sometimes, I have to focus on Chris because he can be the opposite at times. It's like a fireman's job. Are you going to run into a building that's on fire to save people? Or are you going to grab a coffee at the shop next store and pretend it's a glowing hearth, coming from a fireplace?
The worst argument we had is when he said, "What is it about him?" I was actually stunned for a second. I could've put him on blast, too. That day, though, I walked away. I sat and thought, how could a grown man not understand? Has been sleeping the last several years? Does he not understand the battles I've gone against? Now, he wants to pick a battle with me? Later, when I had calmed down, I went in and said, "He's my son, that's what it is with him. For you to question anything, as if you are a five -year old not getting your way, is beyond me. He's my son and if you can't handle this, I guess we're done."
God gave me children to: guide, love, cherish, and protect. I am only one person, so my protection only covers so much ground. We are human. To error is only human. I, as a parent, make mistakes like anyone else. There is no manual that comes with our children. No extended warranty stating our children can be fixed if broken. We get them, "As Is". I wouldn't change it for the world. I will however, protect my children from any and all harm within my power! I will always side with my children when they don't know better, but an adult does! I will turn my back on anyone who doesn't understand and respect that! Because I've held steadfast in my thinking on this matter, no one has since asked, "What is it about him?" They already know the answer!